The first pie and mash outing of 2005 was an auspicious event held amid the splendid marble-topped and tiled opulence of Manze's in the Chapel Market. What gentle retreat is provided from the hustle, bustle and hoi polloi of that throbbing thoroughfare!

I recommend a bowl of steaming eels as a toothsome appetiser to counterpoint the ensuing stodge. Epicureans amongst us have noted that these tender delicacies are best enjoyed in their own broth, with a dollop or two of the hot chilli sauce featured adjacent to Rikk's plate.

For once, the fairer sex was well-represented, with four lovely ladies in attendance from the Simon and Schuster Publishing House. (Left to right) Maria Dean, Maxine Foy, Delphina Jones and Lorna James.

I suspect digestion was somewhat hampered by the fizzy drinks conspicuously evident — though they complained the mash portion was too large! A glass of crystal clear Thames water is by far the best accompaniment, followed by a nice hot cup of tea.

All fell foul of the club's strict scoring policy, I regret to say, though Maxine is in prime position for the wooden spoon at this halfway stage. (The asterisks in the league table denote uneaten food, by the way.)

Tom Leader brought the hale and hearty appetite that is already making a big impression on the league table, to the table. I believe he takes the Private Eye with his luncheon, but I have not yet been able to glean the location for his post-prandial nap.

The two ladies of mash were a constant blur of activity, and did a marvellous job of hostessing us, catering to our every whim and foible. One of them checked the 'no-publicity' box — due to the pressure of being constantly recognised by the pie-buying public. What price fame? Under a fiver, unless you want eels.

Truly a palace of pies.