Our last expedition of season 2004-5 suffered a premature hiccup on the bridge at Waterloo East. Several members of the party ran into Mr Jobsworth of SouthEast Trains, who refused to sell travelcards because his machine only printed out 'paper tickets'. Ben 'all stations except' Hayes is seen here remonstrating.

The journey was otherwise without note and the club soon found itself in the rolling hills of Greenwich (right).

The party numbered five, four of whom are seen here: (l to r) Messrs Tanner, Hollingsworth, Lucas and Hayes. Evans was behind the camera, showing exceptionally poor use of the five million pixels at his disposal.

Fortunately the party arrived at Goddard's just ahead of the lunchtime rush, and a picturesque window table in the upstairs dining room was secured for four of us. Despite appearances, the food went down and stayed down.

There was never going to be enough room at our table to accommodate a championship bid. This one consisted of triple eels, triple pies, double mash and double liquor.

When the jacket came off, we all knew Rikk meant business. And the Mister Pound tie on a blue backdrop was awesome. It wasn't plain sailing for the champion-elect however; halfway through he broke into a hyper-sweat and had to leave the dining room for a short spell. Apparently the counterstaff thrust the requisite napkins into his hand without the need for words to be exchanged.

Once the the last morsel was masticated it was trophy time, and such occasions are never complete without a member of the general public trying to get in on the act. This year's glory-seeker is pictured right, and as ever, there is a free pie and mash meal for anyone who can make a successful finger. Answers (plus some means of verification) in an email to here.

After an absence of several years, the Realistic Clay Pies Trophy is now back with Richard Lucas, proud Champion of Pie-n-Mash 2004—5.

Silver Mash Spoon for Second (is Nowhere) place went to your stentorian statistician Nick Evans. Whose bonce is clearly too big for the lesser award.

This year, the club has developed a third place award; after many months of planning we were proud to reveal the Bronze Baby Bib. Here it is, being modelled by Ben Hayes, and although it suits his youthful boat-race, this stunning award must go to Tommy-come-lately Leader, that bloke we met off the internet. Well done Tom; what a shame you couldn't make it for the auspicious occasion.

The Wooden Spoon of Mediocrity goes to the lowest averaging participant who has been more than once in the season. This dubious distinction now belongs to Chris Fagg for the second time in his dishonourable p-n-m career.

Regardless of your final placemat in the Pie-n-Mash League Table, many thanks for your initial enthusiasm and subsequent apathy / continued support for London's unique culinary tradition. Look forward to seeing you down the shop in 2005-6.

Statso 01-07-05