Look, here we are at that lovely old shop of Goddard's in Deptford High Street on 6th February last. Of the two rival establishments within spittle distance, this has the superior ambience, despite the absence of eels from the menu. Then there's the gallery of abstracts and maritime scenes on the wall – enough to stimulate the most jaded of appetites. I myself would like to meet the lady with the big eye (illustrated). Not only would she have the most impeccable manners, she would also be able to lay claim to the title 'Deptford's Biggest Winker'.

Glance across at that spotted dick (no, I don't mean Richard Lucas) and you will see the steam rising from its custard-covered contours. What a winter warmer it was, though perhaps a little short of the zesty peel we so enjoyed on our visit here last year. Nevertheless, once the dessert had been dispatched, I felt a strong urge to reach for my pipe and shag.

If you like wood plain and simple, this is the establishment for you (apart from the wipe-clean formica tops). I would call it unpretentious. The apprentice who served us unfortunately had broken the pressure cooker, much to the guvnor's chagrin. So when the lad had to use the shop telephone, some wag piped up, "Who you calling? – the job centre! Arf!" I hope his apprenticeship doesn't last seven years.

A home fixture at Clark's of Exmouth market beckons this coming Friday, 27th February 2004. Come one, come all, to the pie and mash ball. Bus 341 outside Wellington House at 12.45, or otherwise in the queue outside the shop at 13.11.

Bye, Stattitude