Three stalwarts in need of an antidote to the new year blues headed out in search of pie and cheer on the 12th of January. The steam-powered RV1 omnibus from Waterloo seemed a good idea at the time, but a ten minute walk at the other end of the journey meant that, once again, we arrived at a shop without eels. "Fifteen minute wait," we were told. Of course Rikk Lucas was already there with a bowl of the piscetarian delicacy before him.

Whilst we waited for a fresh consignment of mash to emerge from the dumb waiter, I noted a bell push behind the counter. Inscribed in biro on an adjacent scrap were the words:

1 = Pies / 2 = Mash / 4 = Liquor

Clearly the two rings had been rung, for the ladies in green were taking time out to confer amongst themselves whilst we leant hungrily upon the long marble counter. The mash came in a silver pail. 'That steam must be good for the complexion,' I remarked as the lid was lifted off, but the look I received could have frosted a chap's moustache at forty paces. Good job I remembered the hot sauce this time.

I was quite taken with Mister Hayes' cardigan which was sartorial accompaniment to platter and place alike. And there's Rikk with the aforementioned eel chunks, having ceremoniously transferred them from bowl to plate. Bobbing on a high tide of liquor, they put me in mind of a kind of culinary Canaletto. Anyway I tried one — it was stewed to the point of decompostion, so I saved myself a few bob there.

This is me, Stat, saying a long goodbye to the Realistic Clay Pie Trophy — I couldn't wait 15 minutes for the fresh eels. Surely 19 points is too much to make up over the remaining six matches. The famous dumb waiter is just looming over the left shoulder. Anyhap the brave yet melancholic countenance vanished soon after the shortcrust was breached, for these were the best pies I've ever noshed in this shop.

These snapshots come to you courtesy of Mister Hayes' mobile device, one of those telephone—camera-music players for today's on-the-move, too-busy-to-stand-still-for-long urban dweller. It even does 'sepia' but I believe with a degree of disappointment that this effect applies only to pictures.

Anyway, despite Tom Leader's rumours of recent closed shutters, this shop is still going strong in 2007. Il papa di pasticcio would be proud.

St@