Apologies for the lateness of this communiqué. I now have one of those digital contraptions, so you can expect these reports to be a little more flavoursome from now on. Our last outing on the 14th November took in the autumnal spendour of Hoxton N1, and the day was set up perfectly for a helping of East End hospitality courtesy of the lovely Kim and her team at F Cooke. The dining room had a light and airy ambience thanks to the huge, street-facing windows, and the place was lent a rugged charm by the sawdust on the floor. Nobody puked, luckily.

The food was good, and the mash was the best in living memory. Possibly better eaten from a dessert bowl with a silver spoon, these spuds had been mashed to the consistency of delicate, windblown cumuli. Our hostess, who had reserved the top table for us (see illustration), takes a great deal of pride in using only the best spuds: "I'm not bein' funny love, if it ain't good enough for my kids, then it ain't f***in good enough for my customers". It's fair to say we were well and truly looked after, and maintained discipline throughout the meal with no funny business. I commend this eaterie to those of you who didn't make it; they even have vegetarian pies and valet parking for pensioner shopping trolleys.

I have been reminded that we should stick to a 'home and away' schedule, so we will be eating next at Clark's on Friday 5th December. Meet at the bus stop outside Wellington House, Strand at 12.45 or in the queue outside the shop at 13.11.

Statisticus