Take me home please
Goddard's, 22 King William Walk, Greenwich
Season 2012-2013

The final round of Season 12-13 took place in historic Greenwich, just moments from the bustle of the town market in the splendid new premises of Goddard's Pie House. It's rather grandly appointed with candelabra lighting – inherited, I believe, from the chipper that used to be here. Chandeliers and chips - imagine the grease!

With the invocation to embrocation [above] grease is indeed the word in Goddard's – it's a well-oiled, well maintained machine that's been turning out pies for over 120 years.

The Ceremonial Mister Pound tie was on prominent display, but it was in neck and neck competition with Edward Mosse's shimmering silver checks.

The Club's cub reporter tucked into the stewed starter with alacrity.

These mini-steaks were first class.

There was a brisk buzz and bustle about the shop which, in the tradition of its previous incarnation on the High Street, operates a licence to sell bottled beers in addition to stock-in-trade vinegars and non-brewed condiments.


The mighty mandibles of the assembled mashers were soon masticating ferociously. Tom Leader was the day's pie-high scorer, cementing his position in the top 10.

Surely he must hold the record for the longest annual migration? Flying in from New Zealand to his summer feeding grounds, it's the Club's 'Eelbatross', Alan Smith.

[Far right] Dissection.

There was a range of desserts on offer: pies of apple and cherry, crumbles of apple and rhubarb [see close-up] accompanied by a choice of ice cream or custard. Charalambous could not reduce down the options to less than two.

The eminent historian gets her just desserts: our learned friend Judith Deschamps understands the importance of significant events better than most, having fed upon and digested the classics – in this case rhubarb crumble.

Those National Theatre Minstrels, Edward Mosse and Ian Burr, looked thoroughly at home in 'The Green Room'. Burr, a dyed-in-the-wool northerner, had the temerity to ask for his gravy, peas and tea to be taken into consideration.

After a lengthy performance, it was time to give out the gongs for season 12–13.

Engraved 'Cham-pie-on' Spoon for First Place: Chris Charalambous.

Silver Mash Spoon for Second-is-Nowhere: Nick Evans

Third Place Bib: Michael Goldwater. Richly deserved after a marvellous second season performance with the Club, plus numerous behind-the-scenes reports, photography and detailed culinary reviews to supplement the Club's Facebook Page.

Wooden Spoon for lowest average over two meets or more went to Hazel Elliott. Last year's 'winner' Sue Madigan sportingly posed for the acceptance on Hazel's behalf.

The hoo-ha and general merriment surrounding the annual Pie and Mash Awards usually piques the curiosity of some innocent bystander. If you can confidently identify the puzzled punter [far right] with proof positive, drop us a line by email to here
– it'll be your meal ticket for a f'ntastic free p-n-m with us next season.

Thereafter electronic cigars were brandished, activated and puffed upon expansively.

Looking around the shop, there's a generously proportioned upstairs dining room with views of the park opposite, and a dumb waiter has been installed to help dispose of the dirty plates: both were distinguishing features of the original shop that I was happy to encounter once again.

Staff coped admirably with the lunch-time rush. Seen here in the Goddard's green gear is Jo enjoying her well earned dinner break and Jordan, clearing and cleaning the tables.

A familiar face from years gone by, Jeff Goddard himself took a moment to chat at the swing door. Despite being the co-founder of a burgeoning pie manufacturing business, Jeff's preference is to pie-lot from the poop deck of this Greenwich galleon.

A fine Tudor wall-hanging adorns the lower dining room. With all that wifely execution and monastic dissolution, it's a raging certainty that King H8 sated the royal appetite with the traditional lunchstuff of champions; probably an 8 + 8 I should think.

The Group Shot.

The Plume of Feathers was attained, its sun-kissed garden of delight the perfect place to raise an ale to Season 12/13. If you were there, you'll know how great it was.