Season 2004-2005BERT'S; 3 Peckham Park Road, Peckham
ROUND 10
08.04.'05
PlayedEels
(5 pts)
Pie
(4 pts)
Mash
(3 pts)
Afters
(2 pts)
Liquor
(1 pts)
SumTotal
NICK EVANS92210122184
RICHARD LUCAS8181
TOM LEADER7221.502
19.5* (24.5-5=19.5)
140
BEN HAYES6090
BOB HOLLINGSWORTH3044
ALAN SMITH3039
TONY CHUNG3021011232
GRAHAM DARLOW1026
STUART BOOTH1221012222
JAMIE TANNER1020
BONNIE MURRAY2018
CHRIS FAGG2016
MATTHEW WILSON1016
MATTHEW LOWING1015
RICHARD CARR1014
LEVANCIA CLARENDON1012
JILL CROPPER108
DELPHINA JONES106
NEIL BURKEY104
LORNA JAMES102
MARIA DEAN102
MAXINE FOY10-6

Meeting number 10 of the season took place at Bert's, just off the Old Kent Road. Timing was crucial, as this establishment closes its doors mercilessly at 1.30pm. In order to meet this stringent requirement, we had to be sure of getting bus 172 at exactly 12.45 from Waterloo, and it meant leaving behind two dear colleagues, Richard Lucas and Bob Hollingsworth. I later received this tragic message:

"Hope you had a good pie'n'mash meeting in Peckham. Me and Bob unfortunately had to settle for a Chinese 'greasy chopstick' kaf 'round the back of Waterloo Station."

Despite what you might think, this situation was not engineered by a second-place statistician eager to steal into pie pole position. In fact I decided that although the standard mash portion was a generous double-scoop, it could only be classed as a single serving — this being in line with most other p-n-m shops. Just take a look at those amply stacked plates to your right.

We were honoured by the presence (and pie-n-mash debut) of Stuart 'Mind, Body & Spirit' Booth, up from his rural residence for a day of 'culture' in Londinium.

This is a man who's been in front of a few 'ample stacks' in his time; and I mean amplifier stacks of course, silly. In fact, I daresay the 'power trio' shown right here have all had their eardrums shredded courtesy of a Marshall 4x12 or two. Tom lost another 5 points for the rendition of 'Black Night' on his mobile.

As you can see, the shop is suitably decked with original advertisements and follows a 'blue and black-n-white check' theme both inside and out. Disconcertingly, every time I addressed my plate Mr Booth kept disappearing from my peripheral vision.

The food, hospitality and ambience were found very much to our liking, but only the first item is available to "take home with you".

Despite eccentric opening hours, Bert's is well worth a trip down the Old Kent Road. Which is an old Roman road, as this nearby mural reminded us.

In the foreground you can see the pie pole I mentioned earlier. The chap holding it and wearing a saucepan lid is a Roman pie-vendor, and the paraphernalia atop his pole indicates that his pies are hand-made, and each filled with two fish. The parsley leaves of course symbolise liquor. Back then the broccoli grew as tall as their Thames-side villas, and the stuff we eat today is in fact only a recently-introduced Japanese edible bonsai variety.

If the local history and culture are not enough to lure you, take a peek at this review of Bert's from Timeout.