It's the dream of any pie and mash explorer to come across an undiscovered oasis in an unlikely quarter. I still have those dreams, but in the age of 24-hour information and google surveillance, even the most low-key operation is detectable within a few keystrokes. Thus has the small shop featured been known to the Club for some years, quietly plying its trade on a remote edge of town.

The Scott's Expedition of 10th January 2020, though not on the same epic scale as the one in 1912 – and made on public transportation rather than dogsleds – was nevertheless undertaken with the same spirit of adventure upon new horizons. Alighting at St Mary Cray, beyond the green belt in north-west Kent, the voyagers found themselves in a modest lego-set of shops assembled around the station, with a post-war suburb stretching out to the north.

Into the north they ventured on foot, in search of the mythical settlement of Cotmandene. After an ascent of twelve long minutes, they came upon a magnificent 1960's council precinct with commanding views over the surrounding terrain.

The locale was a miniature version of the parade at Debden, complete with its own pie and mash shop at the southern end.

Known as Scott's Kitchen, this is the sister branch to Scott's at the Walnuts Centre, a couple of miles distant in downtown Orpington. We crossed the threshold into a decent-sized dining room drenched with bright winter sunlight slanting in from the west-facing windows.

The usual things were ordered – and a familiar hat was laid upon the formica.

Ray took a side bowl of jellies.

The hat that cast a long shadow belonged to Tom Leader, who made a relatively swift journey down from Shooter's Hill to join in. Leader's approach is often two-handed – he started this one with a plate of eels and mash. Unusually for him there was no reading material to turn to.

So here it is – a Scott's 2-and-1 steaming in the sunbeams.

Having disposed of a bowl of stewed eels with gobbets of McIlhenny's Mild, I was keen to slice into the soft undersides of these boaty beauties. I found the hulls to be thicker than normal, slightly spongy and reminiscent of suet pudding. The slightly gamey cargo was in a similar vein to Arment's; the top deck had a look of scorched planking about it. These materials all came together to create an impressive pie with real depth of flavour and texture.

[Far right] Mike Goldwater takes a pre-pie pause.

While not exactly crowded, there were a handful of other diners present and a steady flow of custom this Friday lunchtime.

None came for ham egg and chips, and all paid with cash.

One punter appeared to be hammering out some important business over the dog and bone. For the rest of us the most important decision was Vinney or Spicey.

[Far right] A water-side setting in a tranquil harbour – it's highly likely Jørn Utzon had a plate of this before sketching out his award-winning Sydney Opera House on the back of a napkin.

The modest crew occupied two of the three central eating pods.

As you can see from these photos, the interior theme is chequered – green and cream on the walls, black and white on the floor.

Check-mate.

The effect of checks in facing mirrors is kaleidoscopic.

[Right] Bring your own cheese. The pie and liquor was my dessert.

If you have a sweet tooth you can get a shake for 90p, but it doesn't count.

'Don't take the salt and pepper pots.
The Boss'

This polite injunction is a visual satire upon the charismatic manager Mark, whom we encountered at the Walnuts in February 2014.

The dinner ladies this lunchtide were [l to r] Jackie, Debbie and Tracey.

Scott's Kitchen is an apt name; it is here that pies are prepared for both shops. Not only but also, Scott's provides pies to Flo's of Crayford, Frasiers of Herne Bay, LB's of Blackfen Road, Millers of Belvedere and Motties of Swanley. Between the hours of 5am and 11am 'the men' make the pies – on a busy day around two dozen trays of 16 per [i.e. 384].

It was fascinating to realise just how influential this operation is on the south-east pie scene. Having sampled the fare at most of the places supplied, I believe the Scott's pie reveals its full potential when taken at the source. A trip to 'The Kitchen' is highly recommended.

Other attractions at Cotmandene include Eddie's Food Centre, Gregg's and an undertaker for all occasions.

Three pie and mash calling cards were dispatched at the box near the station – advance notice of an upcoming triple header.

You'd be forgiven for thinking St Mary Cray is an outpost of the Temperance Movement, such is the dearth of boozers. That's why the remaining party hopped on the fast one back to Victoria, where there is a handy Wetherspoon's on the concourse.

Town and country – the view from Mount Cotmandene.

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